I Quit.

Yes. You read that right.


I   Q U I T.


I quit being excessively normal, because weird is more fun. I quit grumbling and complaining, because I'd rather spend that time appreciating what I have. I quit being lazy, because life is too short to waste on the extra "two minutes" of sleep everyday. I quit being a laid-back and unproductive, because being proactive makes me more content. I quit being conscious and not extremely confident; a little self-love is all I need. I quit being ignorant, because it is no longer a bliss. I quit being not passionate about the things I love. I quit not being thankful enough for what I have. I quit being inconsistent, because it's dreadful picking myself up over and over again when I can always do better. I quit being dull, boring and pessimistic, because hey, I'm not that bad! I quit being silent; I love to be heard and awed too! I quit being stiff, serious and uptight; there's always time for that. I quit being withdrawn and well behind my wall, for I hate that I'm too much of a mystery, even for the people I love. And I quit being a disappointment to the ones dear to me. I quit being awkward when complimented; ahh! it's just awkward. I quit holding back on my thoughts, ideas, and desires; the devil may care about whoever judges me. I quit conforming to too many social norms, because I am unique in my own way. I quit running away from problems; it's more difficult to manage the many repercussions. I quit seeing things the way they appear to be, in that there are always layers to anything. I quit being comfortable where I am, now that I know there's so much out there to explore and learn. I quit feeling weak, lost or vulnerable, because I am stronger than I what I allow others to see. I quit overthinking, assuming, or being indecisive because it's just plain annoying. I quit being a person of just words and I quit giving up easily when I am highly capable of doing more than expected. I quit being okay with things I am not. I quit believing that I'm a loner. I quit feel restrained by a person, place or time. I quit being cluttered by toxic relationships, useless thoughts, or bad habits that only weigh me down. I quit being a procrastinator because tomorrow is never better than now, and I quit being not punctual. I quit being extremely rational, excessively conventional, or just too plain and predictable. I quit carrying around way too much guilt and resentment. I quit being hesitant anywhere, anytime, anyplace; if I can't be bold and beautiful now, then when?

Today, as curtains come down on year 2017, I choose to quit being anything and everything that prevents or bogs me down from being a better person. I choose to make a difference to my life, and if possible to inspire at least one person around me, even in the littlest way possible. This new year, I choose to break free of my own inhibitions and be more open to people, experiences... and to life. If at all you happen to see the old me lurking around, don't you hesitate remind her that she has no right to exist anymore.

Red.

As he turned around to take a sip of water, he saw a flash of something red. He turned around, and there she was, trying to slip out without him noticing. In four long leaps he pounced on her, pinning her to the ground. How can she even think of leaving me? Why does she always sneak out like this? Does she not like me? She tried to wriggle her way out, her favourite red sari getting crushed in the struggle. It was his favourite too.

She rolled him over and stood up, towering over him. "Stay," she commanded. Now that was something he couldn't not do. It was a command that always brought him to a freeze, no matter how hard he tried to not listen to her. Lessons ingrained when he started getting to know her.

"I will be back in 5 mins, I promise. Don't make me lock you up," she pleaded. But her 5 mins was more like 5 hours for him. Doesn't she ever understand that? Don't my despondent eyes ever convince her to never, ever leave me?

He was helpless. Heartbroken, he heard the unmistakable click as she locked the door. He rushed to the window, to catch a glimpse of her, beautiful as ever even in the slightly crushed sari. As she turned around the corner, the last bit of his favourite red disappeared, and so did any hope of her rushing back to him.

He slowly walked to his corner and plopped down on his mat. As he rested his long black muzzle on his furry brown paw, he let out a deep sigh. These hoomans. They never understand.

I am..

I am the wanderer, the free-spirited one. I am what you breathe; what you savour as I quietly brush past you. I am the reckless one; wild and wilder still. I am the bringer of the fresh breeze. I am the carrier of dusty storms. I breathe life into those big and small, I leave behind a mess with my wild wake and fall. I am the drug you crave on a hot summer day, I am the magic that fires passion on a cold rainy day. I fondle you in your darkest; take you soaring high when you dream. Close your eyes and feel me, for I flow through you. Wake up, and I'll steal you away into a world far away. I am the whisperer of sweet nothings, when the world around you seems chaotic. I am the beautiful bliss that subdues you when you are your own madhouse. I am the cause of the blush on your pale cheeks, I am reason for your messed up hair. I get to you past all the barriers. I caress you without you having the slightest hint of just how.

Bottle me up, cage me in. I couldn't care less. I am the same within, and without that that encloses me. Hold me close and I will still escape. Set me free and I'll lift you along with me. The scent of spring, the woe of winter; the waterfall's mist, the hearth's heat—they're all there. They all need me.

Call me the murmurer, the sweet song, or the tempest. I am, after all, the timeless one. I am that that knows no bounds.

I am wild.

I am free.

I am,
The wind.

P.S. 

Please forgive me, for I think I just pushed grammar over the cliff. 

This piece just had to do without some. 

Crescendo

Her fingers tapped their way into her favourite playlist, towards a song that always stirred her senses and brought her to her feet. She took in one slow, deep breath and pushed the play icon, letting her eyes close slowly as she exhaled.

The strumming of the guitar tugged her pulse and nanoseconds later, they fell into perfect rhythm. The slow music lead her to the middle of the dance floor. She opened her eyes, just once, to look around.. And then she plunged into her world.

A strong pair of hands wrapped around her as the slow strumming burst into a chaotic mix of strained stings and trapped air.

She clasped her hand in his. She could think of no one but them. The world around came crashing down as they built momentum with every step they took together - in harmony, and never skipping a beat. Every spin that took her away only brought her closer to him. Every time she crashed into his arms, she exploded a little more within.

Eyes locked into each other, the strained strings mattered no more, the trapped air bothered her no more. Her soul was finally being set free from the demons that bound her.

No. This wasn't one of her choreographed pieces where she made things fall into place. This was one one of those magical moments where emotions, more than things, fell in together. Love that was lost, passion that grew cold, trust that lay shattered, joy that ceased to exist, all took birth again as the music grew into a crescendo, weaving them all into a beautiful cocoon.

As the music hit its peak, she was all but a feather in his arms, raised high into the soft clouds. With blood rushing into her head, she glided down and stood firmly on her feet. As the concluding notes floated around them, she gazed into his deep grey eyes once more, tightening her hold in his arm. She stepped away, glowing as she twirled on her toes. One spin, two spins, and a third.

The rush in her ears couldn't hush the loud pounding of her heart. She came to a standstill, arms wrapped tightly around her and eyes shut tight, trying to hold on that magic a while longer.

The frantic heartbeat soon stabilized, and she slowly rose back to the noise around her. No! This wasn't what she was supposed to hear.. She was in the wrong place.. She  mustn't open her eyes yet! This wasn't where she belonged..

A sudden rush of cold breeze shook her awake. She saw faces behind her, beaming; hands clapping loud. She gave them a weak smile, and the frail woman standing before her mirrored her smile, giving nothing more than what was offered. She stared blankly at her own reflection, and slowly turned away. She made her way out, quietly seeking the comfort of the snow storm outside to soothe the never-ending ache within her.

To 22 years and counting..!

Throwback to a social media post a few months ago:

"I've been wounded, beaten, denied, insulted, pulled, pushed, ignored, groped, doubted, controlled, discouraged, lied to, cheated on and stared at... alone, depressed, frustrated, sick, angry, crying, lonely, confused, lost and mad.

I've had a fair share of pain, grief and struggle, but what makes it better is that I've also seen a good share of joy, love, companionship, friends, smiles, cuddles, kisses, loyalty, trust, care, attention, acceptance, good health, surprises, dreams, aspirations and more.

Maybe that's what life is about.. a healthy mix of happy and sad, to know and appreciate both. It doesn't matter where we stand, but how we look at things from where we stand. I'm most thankful for all those who have been with me through thick and thin, and encouraged me to get on with life no matter what.

Cheers to 22 colourful years into a hundred shades of emotions each..!"

"There Are No Accidents"

There is a reason why each person walks into your life. As Oogway would say, “there are no accidents”. Each person who bumps into you changes your life forever, however infinitesimally small the change is. He/she would give you the memories you would recount and laugh about a hundred times later, or teach you lessons that no school or college would help you with, or show you pain that would first break you and eventually make you stronger, would make you go through scores of emotions – some of them totally weird, or make you look at the same boring world in a different perspective. He/she would make you wonder if people like that even exist and will help you identify the people you are better off with or without, would provide you with knowledge that you wouldn’t possible get from any other source, or force you to step out of your comfort zone, only to experience things that might again change you as a person. He/she would help you get a glimpse of how difficult others’ lives are too, if only we stop thinking about ourselves for a minute. He/ she – a friend, a family member, a lover, a rival, a teacher, a somebody, or even a nobody for that matter – each of them will shape and sculpt you to become the person you are today.

Think about this: what would your life be like, if you hadn’t met you best friend at all, or if you weren’t born into the family you are in today, or if you chose to attend a different college..?

Let me take this moment of reflection to stop and thank every individual who has been a part of my life, for making me who I am today. I am not perfect; I do have a million flaws. Yet, I am me. Thank you for being that sculptor. And to the people I am yet to meet and greet, hello there and welcome! I hope we have a great ride ahead! :)

One little spark, then a raging fire.

This is a random spark that then became a short short-story.


>>

Oh! She loved that lonely star and wished she could hold it in her hand. It would burn her down to ashes, she knew. But holding it close had been her wish for long.

The distance between her and the star was unconquerable, she knew too. So she built a bridge all the way up. A bridge made of dreams, and of joy, of wonder and of lust. A bridge that only she could make; only she could cross.

The burning desire within her was fired by the excitement of reaching the star. She reached out to touch the ball of fire, as she took the final steps. The star's sheer beauty and might added to the fire in her. The raw passion within the little girl fuelled the flames around her. She smiled as the glowing ball expanded.

The lone star was now an astronomical spectacle.

Somewhere on earth the little boy shouted, "mamma!! Look there.. Its flying! Its a comet!!".
The couple stood hand in hand, and said a silent prayer.
The scientist marked down the time of the event, as he discussed science with his colleague.
The dog, frightened by the falling ball of fire, brought the house down with its incessant barking.


The little girl was finally one with her star. 

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